I have come out the other end of training and it feels fantastic. My final site is Tiznit, in southern Morocco. It's a small, conservative city with lots of charm and wonderful people. I am so happy here. However, not everything is roses. Most days, everything is fantastic. I look forward to getting up and meeting new people, experiencing new things. But sometimes, it's the little things that make you wonder or that can change your day.
Culture Shock 101 – I wish this had been a class at
Muhlenberg when I was there. I wish that
I had paid more attention during the A-100 sessions. It’s going to happen. Just expect it because you can’t fight
it. If you try, you’ll end more unhappy
than you are at the moment. I’ve had my
culture shock moments already, but this week has taken the cake a bit. Some things just amaze me and I know it’s
because of cultural differences. This is
just a short list and I know there will be many more to come. (Note: this is just my experiences in Morocco. I do know this would be a much different list
in other countries.)
- It’s ok to walk hand in hand or arm in arm in
public with someone of the same sex, but if you do that with someone of the
opposite sex, you get strange looks and people jump to conclusions. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve
walked around in Morocco holding hands with someone of the same sex, whether
American (rarely) or Moroccan (more common).
While I do get a few strange looks when it’s with a Moroccan, it’s much
more accepted. When I’ve been walking
with someone of the opposite sex, especially if they are Moroccan, it’s been a
very different story. It didn’t matter
that it’s been with a male LCF or my host brother; both elicit lingering looks
and, a few times, comments. That doesn’t
usually bother me because those people don’t understand the relationship. However, I did get annoyed once. I became good friends with a male LCF
(language teacher) and we’d talk pretty often.
None of our conversations revolved around anything besides how things
were going for each of us. He, with
another male LCF, came to my CBT site and we, along with my female LCF, went
hiking up the mountain. It was fine, although
when we parted, we hugged and I got a few comments about that. The reaction by my American peers was
insane. They all said there was
something there, he liked me, etc. etc. etc.
I will admit I find him cute and he’s easy to talk to, but no, nothing
there and nothing will happen. When we
all went back to Rabat, we spent 7 hours walking around Rabat (with another PCV
and her friend) on a Saturday night. We
talked. That’s it. But that doesn’t matter. What mattered was that I was out, at times
alone, with a male Moroccan. It just
amazes me what people will think some times.
Unfortunately, that’s happening here, too, with my host brother. I have since moved out of the house and into
my own place, but he still likes to walk around, as do I. He also wants to get better at English and
he’s good practice for me to speak in Arabic.
It’s a win-win, but all that people see is two people, one female, one
male, walking around, talking, laughing, and having a good time. It’s perfectly acceptable for me to cuddle in
bed with my female best friend here (although that hasn’t happened in a while
and may not again), but it’s not ok for me to walk around with a male friend
without something being thought of it.
Oh…and dating is culturally forbidden.
I walk around and see it, but those are usually the girls without the
headscarf on. Often, I wonder how they
get away with it in their families. Are
they just more liberal or do the girls not care? Then I see the girls with the headscarves and
wonder if they have secret boyfriends (VERY common, from what I understand) and
how that works for them. Do they ever
see each other? If so, how and
when? I’m not looking to date; I’m just
wondering how that works. Secret
boyfriends and girlfriends aren’t uncommon in the States; it’s just those are
more family rules than cultural rules.
So when culture plays a part of it, how does that affect a relationship?
- I get much much much more attention when I’m
alone than if I’m with someone else. I
get so many lingering looks that it’s starting to wear on me. It’s not really harassment since I rarely get
comments and it’s not the same person all the time, but it’s getting old very
fast. I always have to remind myself
that I’m going to stand out and people are curious. It’s natural for people to be curious about
the white girl and what she’s doing here.
I just wish that they didn’t stare and would instead say hi or start a
conversation, even if it’s in French (that’s a whole different topic to
tackle). I get to practice my Arabic and
maybe they’ll even learn a little about me and why I’m here. I can’t get mad at them; I’d probably do the
same thing in their situation. It’s just
frustrating. Thankfully, I haven’t
gotten many comments and the people I have spoken with are genuinely very nice
and interested in what I’m doing here. I
see a few of the same people everyday and they say hi and ask how I’m
doing. We have short conversations and
it’s nice. I’m starting to get my
footing here, but the stares, oh the stares, they are starting to get to
me. It’s much less when I’m with my
friend, host brother, or host sister. I
don’t feel unsafe per se (except when it’s getting dark and any time there are
less women around), just like I have a neon sign above my head saying, “Hey
look at me!”
- Meal times here are so vastly different. Breakfast is served when the mother in the
house gets up (thankfully mine both rose early, so I never have had a
problem. My only problem is that I don’t
like to eat breakfast, so they were both very concerned about me in the
mornings). Lunch is anywhere between 1
and 2:30 in the afternoon. Cassecroute
(afternoon snack) is between 5 and 7.
Dinner is between 10 and 11:30 (at night!). In between all of these is snacking at any
point. The hardest thing for me is the
late dinner; I still haven’t gotten used to it because basically, you eat and
then go to bed. Usually after I eat, I’m
wired and ready to go do something. It’s
slowly getting better and now that I’m living on my own, I can eat whenever I want,
so I set my own meal times. Lunch is
still on the later end, but dinner is a bit earlier than normal because I want
to digest a bit before hitting the sack.
I know these meals time revolve around the family and work
schedules. Everyone, and I mean
everyone, goes home for lunch in the middle of the day for a few hours; they eat
and then nap before going back to work and because of this, they work later in
the day, hence the later dinner time. My
host father here in Tiznit runs a store repairing and making shoes. He doesn’t get home at night until between
9:30 and 10:30, so dinner is never until around 11. By this time, I’m usually ready to sleep and
sleep hard. When I start my real work in
the dar chebab, we’ll see what my evening meal times will be.
I know there are many more to be added to the list and I
probably will over time. Just for now,
this is what I could think of since this is what I deal with on a more daily
basis. On another note, this past
weekend was the dance recital. It’s
still hard for me to believe that I wasn’t there. I missed it so much. The one upside is that I moved that day and I
purposely did that so I wouldn’t have to think about it. I also purposely stayed off the internet
until Tuesday because I knew it would be hard.
Seeing the status that Genie set about me and the photos Hannah took
made me tear and hurt my heart a bit. I
know I’m doing this for a good reason and I know I’ve annoyed a lot of people
because I talk about my girls, Genie, and Kara all the time, but it’s because
they are what I miss most, where I feel most at home, and sometimes I need
those reminders, to know that I have people rooting for me in my corner. They don’t mean more than my mom or Anna or
Emily or Laura; they are just more vocal about it. I mean, who else would post a video on my
wall saying congratulations on my language score? Kara did, of my girls and Genie. And they aren’t the only important ones at
Every Body Dance. I miss Marcia, Sue,
and the others like you wouldn’t believe.
If there’s one thing I wish I could have here in Morocco, it’s all of
them. There are foods I miss, places I
miss, I miss my mom and Jake (oh Jakey).
Dance is just the part of my old life that I miss the most right now.
PS: Sorry for the lack of pictures, but my camera died and I can't get the battery to charge. Long story. I'll probably have to wait until I can get my other camera from my mom. Until then, google Tiznit. There are some awesome pictures out there.
No comments:
Post a Comment